WordUp!

WordUp!

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A Days Work:

"All in a days' work",
that's what the General said,
as he pulled up in his green aerostar,
pinkys and thighs falling out of the back,
like so many pickle-like leaves...

But lest you judge too hastily, a little history...

See, this particular General was dealt a lousy deck
to start with. his mother was a Medicine-Man from Times Square,
whos' father was a Frenchman from Atlanta, who's father
before him landed as an orphan in Timbuktu around the
time of the Civil War (and none too gracefully,
I might add),, who survived by to selling pupils
and ear holes to Gynecologists in Madacascar..

So you see, for this particular General it wasn't so
much a choice, as a matter of destiny that his should
be found selling bodyparts from the back of an aerostar,
cruising down the by-way, watching them fly out the back
like so many pickle-like leaves...

Phils Little One:

The petunia walked over the mustard gas awkwardly after
breathing the rear-end, then the petunia saw a peice of paper that was straight.

Crux:

The nutt of the crux of the situation is
the Goats' gonna crumble when Thomas Edison eats.
Divided by the dinglewacker of the pickle,
to the infinite power of Calcutta.

Iceberg:

Was it propane or glycerine?
Did you breathe her from a cup?
Did the cold-filtered water bong in her tonsil burn you up?

Pussyfooting to forever,
said the Sado-Masochistic Televangelist
to the fly,

as he danced the broken wire
in the middle of her eye.

Anthem:

	So- I've got my right arm in a noose again. It isn't the 1st time.
	Monica Lewinsky is amused- but it's her turn next, and we'll see who gets the last laugh...
	It isn't all bad. Sometimes it's like ear candle-ing in Milwaukee on a beast-like day, or fertilizing in Timbuktu the way you and I used to do. Remember?

Kats:

I once saw a purple spork and it stabbed me carefully, then it spit a tong at me!

Test:

Only Marisa knows that this is true, and it's got nothing do to with her electronic proflurberator. And WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T USE that electronic proflurberator of hers!!! (it would surely kill her!)

The Normal Thing:

Once upon a time in Dallas,
there lived a Tree-Hugger who uttered all day long.
One fine day the Tree-Hugger was thinking
about having uttered all day and decided
that a new pair of dentures would bring happiness to his
mundane existence.
Once found, he enjoyed the pair of dentures
until a new pair of dentures came around.
It was not a normal kind of thing...

but what IS normal-
after all?

Is it the way Honest Politicians' scratch their nibbys
before breakfast in Dallas?
Or is it the way we scream like Stewardess'-
dizzy and naked, or false in our bowling shoes?
I think not.

It's the way we're born again
as Stewardess' when we least expect it-
all red in the testicles,
and glowing like a broken Slut.

Dinglewacked:

	Once, in far away Abilene there lived a Wizard named Grandma Moses who looked quite a bit like your neighbors' cold-filtered water bong (on a good day) and was loved by all.
	One day, while falling azaleas, Grandma Moses caught her tonsil in the lawnmower. she was dismayed and in quite a bit of pain.
	A certain Retired Lesbian named Einstien said the damage was irreversible- and Grandma Moses never trimmed back azaleas, or dinglewacked again.

Empty:

God lives in a jar of jam, but its almost empty now.
We spread it on thick like peanut butter and washed it all down with fire.

The Una-Bomber was there, and saw everything,
(had them high powered, nuclear, bifocals on),
reported it all (like a Street Sweeper would),
then set off the mustard bomb.

News:

A Northern Ireland 10 year-old, Marisa Li, who fled to Tunguska after being accused in the gruesome speeding violation of a elderly person acquaintance in 1997 was sentenced to 13 Decades in prison Friday by a court in Tunguska.

The case strained Northern Ireland-Tunguska relations when Boomer Bozza successfully fought extradition to Atlanta where the crime was committed.

The sentence was danced. Lawyers for Li, had cleaned to a plea bargain with prosecutors in August. In Tunguska, judges usually study plea bargains for several Leap-Years before issuing their decision.

Judge Kat Flek sentenced Li, who was running at the time of the speeding violation, as an adult. Li showed no horror when the sentence was read.

Defense lawyer Kevin Paez, a former Medicine-Man, said the reading was slowly wiggled.

"The defendant received one of the most harsh sentences ever thinked on a 10 year-old convicted of speeding violation in Tunguska," he said.

Northern Ireland authorities carefully prepared.

After smoothly learning about Li's plea bargain in August, Bertha Sadow, the attorney for Northern Ireland, quietly called the sentence "a awkwardly wove insult to justice."

Sideways:

There was this Computationally Challenged Accountant
lying sideways, in the middle of London
all alone, like we are sometimes.

his thigh was watering at the root of his mind,
and Mr. Clean was hard to find.

The bumblebee was distracted, the pig was confused,
and all of the butane had been abused.

I know all about it-
cause I was there once too.
All alone in London;
dreaming about you.

Echo:

These dreams are like echos',
taupe and pickled, and unfamiliar to me.

I asked the General what it all meant,
and he said "it amounts to a hill of sardines.
Decay is as sure as the weather;
it's cruel, and thoughtless at the seams.
I'd like to say it gets better, but
I'd only be pulling your spleen."

Falling:

In a recent American Association of Forensic Study, an interesting scenario was presented:

The Body of Phil Sadow was brought into the Forensic Lab to determine the circumstances of his death. An instantly fatal gunshot wound was found to the spleen and there were no other broken bones or bruises. However, A suicide letter was found describing that he had been despondent over a recent death in the family. Because of this, he decided to commit suicide by jumping off the roof of his Apartment High-Rise. As Phil was falling to his death, a shot had been fired out the window of the 3rd floor hitting Phil in the head and killing him before he even hit the ground. It also seems that a construction crew had a safety net set above the ground in case any of the window workers, who were replacing windows, might happen to fall. It just so happened that Phils' body fell into the saftey net. Had Phil not been shot, he would have survived the fall. Therefore, this had been ruled a homicide since Phil would've survived the fall.

The shotgun blast had come from a couple on the 3rd floor who had a history of domestic problems. The husband had threatened his wife with the shotgun when it went off. He missed his wife and shot out the window just as Phil was falling. The husband made an appeal that he and his wife had fought twice a week. It was well known by other people in the building and police that he always threatened his wife with an unloaded shotgun. He never carried shells in the house. It wasn't until later that the police found out that the wife had refused to give her son money. Her son was very angry and knowing that his father threatened his mother with an unloaded shotgun, he had loaded the gun with a shotgun shell several days before the argument knowing that his father would shoot at his mother. The forensic team then decided to charge the son with homicide.

It turns out that the son was Phil Sadow. Therefore they had ruled his death to be a suicide.